Day 109 of 365

A strange thing happened. Two things, really.

Number one. Other than my daughter's birthday cake, I finally baked something sweet for the first time in 46 days. Before, no more than 12 days went by without me making something sweet. Just look at my record:

• On Day 2 I made M&M Cookies
• Day 12 I made St. Patrick's Day Sugar Cookies
• Day 19 I made Blueberry Muffins
• Day 25 Caramel Apples
• Day 26 Chocolate Covered Strawberries
• Day 36 Easter Sugar Cookies
• Day 42 Chick Cake Pops
• Day 49 Peeps Sugar Cookies
• Day 50 Apricot White Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies
• Day 62 Carrot Bread
• Day 63 Flower Sugar Cookies
• Day 93 Birthday Cake

But since today is Father's Day and we're not celebrating (we'll celebrate when my daughter comes home later this week), my hubby got to pick out what kind of cookies he wanted.

His choice was Oatmeal Raisin cookies, with some leftover M&Ms from, well, um, Christmas.

But the strangest part of this wasn't the 6 month old M&Ms.

It was the change in me that I noticed when I was making them, taking them out of the oven, and plating them up.

Usually when I make something sweet (honestly, always), I taste (honestly, eat) the raw dough before I put it on the cookie sheet or in the pan. Taste it a few times even. Even though I knew raw eggs were a no-no, nothing would stop me from sampling before it was even cooked. Then, after it came out of the oven, I'd taste again. Many times I've burned my tongue eating a cookie or a muffin that was just out of the oven. But that didn't even stop me. I'd do that again and again. And again when things were cooling, I'd munch some more. And more. And finally, when things were eventually cooled, I'd have more.

I couldn't stop myself. Once I started with the raw dough I had to eat the oh-so-hot cookies. Once I had the hot cookies I had to have the lukewarm cookies. And once I had the lukewarm cookies I had to have the cooled cookies. (It wasn't just cookies, but anything sweet I was making.)

But here's the weird thing that happened with these oatmeal cookies.

I didn't eat any raw dough this time. (First time ever.)

I didn't eat a hot cookie. (First time ever.)

I didn't eat a lukewarm cookie. (First time ever.)

In fact, my husband asked me again and again if I wanted a cookie and I turned him down again and again.

Do I crave one? Do I need one? Nope! The urge to eat sweets - and not just stop at one - is not with me today. Now I can't promise myself I will always feel this way about cookies, or cakes, or muffins or anything sweet, but I feel this way today.

I don't know what's gotten into me but I think it's good.

While the cookies aren't necessarily the best thing I could have taken a picture of, they are the best thing that I didn't do today.

Day 108 of 365

Caffeine is something I try to avoid.

I've never been a coffee drinker. Occasionally I might have a Diet Dr. Pepper or a Diet Coke when I go out somewhere, but only if it's during lunch time. I learned long ago that if I have anything with caffeine during the afternoon or evening it'll keep me from getting to sleep.

But this last week I haven't been able to get to sleep and I haven't had any caffeine. I haven't changed my diet, my exercise routine, my television viewing habits or my computer time. Everything has been exactly the same.

Except that I can't get to sleep until about 3 in the morning.

I lie there in bed, trying to get myself to sleep.  Trying my old standby meditation-type thoughts to calm my mind and body. My mind has been calm even without me trying. I'm not thinking about things that might keep me up. Yes, my body aches, but that's not new either.

So some nights I might get up and watch TV for a few minutes then come back to bed. Other nights I might read or come to the computer for a few minutes. Never for more than a few minutes. Because almost as bad as caffeine is the mental stimulation that television and the computer screen causes.

Despite being up, down, lying still with my eyes closed, I am not getting to sleep. Forcing myself to sleep is not working.

After racking my brain for any change in anything I've done, I might have come up with something.

I've been taking some new medication. Some medication prescribed by the gastroenterologist to help with my stomach issues. I've been taking the medication faithfully twice a day, every day, since my procedure, and I've been faithfully unable to sleep every day since the procedure. Wouldn't you know it, a rare side effect of this medication is insomnia. Hmm.

On my own I decided to stop the medication for a couple days to see if there was a connection between the medicine and my sleep pattern.

I never made it through two days without the medication. The stomach issues returned. Just as bad as before.

I like my sleep, but I like a pain-free stomach even better. I'll stick with the medicine and I'll be searching for things to keep me occupied at night. Things I can do between the hours of 10 PM and 3 AM. Things that will not be noisy or distracting. Things that will keep me from lying wide awake in bed for 5 hours a night.

Unfortunately, going to sleep at 3 doesn't prevent me from getting up for a drink of water at 6.

But the reds, oranges, blues, and whites in the sky at six o'clock this morning were spectacular. The picture doesn't do it justice.