Day 121 of 365

I came oh-so-close to giving up yesterday.

After that darn pain clinic appointment I was tempted to stop by and pick up something really greasy and salty for dinner like Carl's Jr.

But I didn't.

When I got home I was tempted to make something really big and unhealthy for dinner.

But I didn't.

I was very tempted to make a batch of cookies and eat my heart out.

But I didn't.

I was tempted to give up the bike riding for the day and break my consecutive days of riding record.

But I didn't.

Instead, I
*rode the bike.
*went into my sewing room and got to work finishing up yesterday's quilt.
*started on another baby quilt.
*boxed up some fabrics to give away to a lady in Minnesota who makes lap quilts and wheelchair and walker bags for veterans.

And today, I
*mailed that box of fabrics.
*rode my bike - a little over 20 miles total for the week. My exercise streak is now up to 75 consecutive days!
*finished another quilt.

Day 120 of 365

I understand that if my prescription runs out early for any reason my provider will not prescribe extra medication for me. I will have to wait until the next prescription is due, even if this means my going through withdrawals. I also understand that going through withdrawals is uncomfortable, but not life threatening.


I also understand that prescriptions will not be changed without me returning the rest of my original prescription to the office for identification, counting, and disposal.


I agree to periodic unscheduled drug screens regardless as to whether or not it is covered by my insurance.


I understand that I may become dependent on opioid medications, which in a small number of patients may lead to addiction. If addiction occurs, the medication will be discontinued and I will be referred to a drug treatment program for help.

Just a few of the things I had to sign off on today when I made my first visit to the pain clinic.

The previous doctor had declared I had reached "maximum medical improvement" and that I'd be on pain meds the rest of my life. A while back I took myself off all pain meds and don't want to go back to the meds (or that doctor). I was hopeful a specialty clinic might have some options for me. As I found out today, the options for a chronic back condition like mine are limited. Physical therapy. (Already done that for almost a year for the back.) Injections in the spine. (No thank you, not again.) Why am I not surprised - especially after having to sign off on a list of 20 different drug-related understandings before I could see the doctor - that the best option might be pain medication? (Please, no.)

I have some thinking to do, the doctor has an MRI to check out, and then I may have to make a choice soon. Or, since I'm not happy with the options, refrain from making any choice.

In other sucky news, I was weighed today and have lost a total of one (yes, only 1) pound since Day 83. I don't eat sugar anymore, I've cut down on my portion sizes and cut out snacks, and I ride the exercise bike each and every day and have lost a total of one whole pound. I haven't researched whether weight gain is a side effect of some of my medications, but it has to be. How can someone work so hard for so little?

In non-sucky news, I finished another baby quilt.