Day 784

You and I aren't the only ones who like admiring flowers. Check out the bottom right corner of the picture.

Day 783

Must. Keep. Moving. Forward.

Day 782

Scene: picking hubby up afterschool.

Conversation:
Hubby: What's for dinner?
Me: Tacos.
Hubby: I'm not sure how good the cabbage is. And I took the salad mix for lunch so we don't have any lettuce, either.
Me: (In a smart aleck-y voice) So what, we need to get our tacos at Alejandra's instead?
Hubby: You want to?
Me: I don't know.
Hubby: You up to it?
Me: Well I had a shower today and am dressed. (Okay, admission here...I don't shower everyday when I'm sick and sometimes I'm lucky to be wearing clean clothes.)

And that's how we wound up having a chimichanga for the first time ever.

Day 781

I needed another happy picture today. (Although if you knew nothing about flowers, a picture of a "bleeding heart" might not sound all that pleasant.)

Day 780

Figured after all the complaining I've been doing it's about time for happy things.

Like spring flowers.

Day 779

How much can one person take?

Despite my repeated declarations to the contrary, I've had to start back on the pain pills. Can't believe I crossed back over that line. I also have to get a shot today - in my rump - that is supposed to help with pain.

When I lifted those big, heavy boxes for the post office the other day I forgot something. Part of the recovery instructions from the cardiac catherization was to limit my lifting to three pounds. Oops. Now I'm paying for the oversight. The ache from the elbow to the wrist is not pleasant.

The soonest I can get into the doctor to discuss my pulmonary function tests is Wednesday. So more days of keeping still, more days of not being able to breathe.

Today is my chemotherapy drug day. Which means the next few days will have me feeling even worse than usual.

And the cherry on top for the day? I'm writing this from the rheumatologist's office. It's infusion day. Happy flippin' Friday.

Day 778

Still no word from the doctor, but I did get a nurse to read the results of my pulmonary function test to me. In hindsight that was probably not the best idea. Amid all the medical gobbledygook a key phrase stood out that I did understand. So Ms. Researcher me typed that phrase into the computer and added the words rheumatoid arthritis to the search.

Shouldn't have done that. All kinds of research studies connecting the condition to rheumatoid arthritis popped up. Studies painting a gloomy picture.

I can't let my mind go there. I'll go about my day, my week, my month and wait to hear the doctor's take on it and the next steps involved. And I'm pretty sure there will be at least one or more next steps.

To prove that I am moving on, we went to Alejandra's tonight. It has been so long since we've been there I couldn't even remember what menu item we were on. So I guessed. Two combination platters, one with a tamale and the other with a zope.

Day 777

Selling on eBay has been pretty fun. I get to clean out my stuff, send it to someone who could make better use of it, and make a little money while doing it.

Except on days like today when I have several packages going out at once. With me not being able to move/walk/stand but a minute or so before I run out of air it takes a bazillion breaks for me to get just these boxes packed, loaded, and to the post office. Boy, I hope I get some answers soon. Thank goodness my mind is still sharp (so far), because my body sure isn't.

Day 776

The soap opera continues.

I got the latest test results from the rheumatologist's office today. My inflammation numbers are down, like to normal. As much pain as I'm in I'm not sure I believe it. Looks like the doctor doesn't believe it either because he wants me to retake them next week. No question about my liver function, though. It's not working right, with the bloodwork showing my liver function off significantly.

Thank goodness for my flowers. Only thing getting me through today.

Day 775

Getting closer to answers. I think.

I had another test over at the hospital today, a pulmonary function test. It's a test all about lung capacity and force and oxygen saturation and so forth. I failed. Big time. They ran several tests and every single one was abnormal.  Every single one. My lungs ranked from 40% to 71% of normal on the different tests. Not good. Even the one where they did a breathing treatment with medication, medication that opens up the airways of asthmatics? Yep, that didn't show the results it should have. (In my mind that test told me I don't have asthma - don't know if the doctor will see it that way or not.) It'll be a couple days before he gets results and then I guess we'll see where we go from here.

And if that wasn't enough fun for the day, the rheumatologist and cardiologist had a consultation about me. They both agreed I need to, despite all the terrible side effects, continue with the infusions. That means I'm up for one again this Friday. I don't know if I have the strength.

Despite all that, I did have something pleasant today. Just look at our gorgeous tree!

Day 774

My daughter keeps telling me not to leave a bunch of stuff for her to get rid of. She's talking about when I'm no longer living and she has to clean out the house. We've been working hard at downsizing, but the sewing room? Yea, I'm afraid I haven't worked on downsizing it as much as I should.

I've always told kiddo that she wouldn't have to worry about my fabric stash because I'd use it up. But now with me being so sick I'm starting to wonder if I have too much. So today was spent getting ready to put some fabric on eBay soon. Might as well sell it there since that's where most of it came from anyway!

After spending the day working on what I can let go of, the boxes of colorful fabric fat quarters aren't even close to being full.

Day 773

Medicine is amazing.

Imagine such a tiny little hole in the wrist could be used to access an artery which in turn holds a guidewire which is then replaced with a plastic tube which is then guided into the heart and moved in and out as dye is injected. All while the patient is awake.

Just amazing. (Not so amazing on the bruising.) Sorry for the icky picture.

Day 772

Finally home and finally into different clothes.

I had planned on being in Boise this past week for a conference so I had three sets of dress clothes. Unfortunately I wound up missing the conference and spent my days in the emergency room, the cardiologist's office, the rheumatologist's office, and then just yesterday the hospital. All situations not requiring dress clothes.

So I've been wearing the one set of comfy clothes I brought with me for several days in a row. But today I felt strong enough to head back home.

Ahh, clean clothes. And ooh, tulips in bloom.

Day 771

I was good today. I should say my heart was good. They went through my wrist into my heart. Weird. But no blockages. So I'm here in the hospital bed with a clamp on my wrist to seal up the artery. I'll be here several hours until it's closed. What does the clamp look like? Another case of weird. A pretty white bracelet. I'll spare you the bloody underside.

Day 770

When I was a teenager, I used to watch soap operas. Once I got to college the only one I kept watching was Days of our Lives. Once I started teaching and actually worked during the day I stopped watching. Occasionally I'd watch in the summer, but over the past several years my viewing has become non-existent.

It's not like they don't have interesting story lines - they certainly do. But they just didn't seem believable anymore. How can the same person have a child they don't know about, get amnesia, find they have a deadly disease and be treated at the hospital by that same long lost child, and then miraculously be cured by the blood transfusion they received from the brother they thought was dead? (Okay, that's not a real story line but it could be!)

Anyway, I feel I'm starting to live a soap opera myself. Every day there has been a new development in my health. Today was the rheumatologist appointment. What did he have to say? Maybe it's about time I started back on pain pills to cut down on the pain until we can get the arthritis under control. Yeah, like that's going to happen. And what else? Oh, just that it's probably time I go on temporary disability. Yeah, like that's going to happen.

Now tomorrow is my angiogram. Can't wait to see what that doctor has to say.

Kind of like I can't wait to see what is coming up out of this pod in the rhubarb. It's sticking up a little higher than just the other day.

Day 769

My trip to the cardiologist today is helping rule some other things out. Unfortunately (or fortunately) we're bypassing the stress test and going straight to the angiogram. A long thin tube through the groin, up an artery, and into the heart. Add a bit of dye and he'll get a good look in there. If all is good I get to go home the same day (Thursday). If not, there's a bit more involved. (I'm planning on all being good!)

Good like my daughter's kitty. Remember my cat that wouldn't get in the carrier? We gave the carrier to my daughter and take a look what her kitty does with it. No fair!

Day 768

Thanks for all your kind thoughts through all this. I spent the afternoon in the emergency room and got some things excluded, others not. I have an appointment with a cardiologist tomorrow and hope to have answers soon. I've been told to lay low for a while so no work for me for at least a couple days. Just hanging out in Boise, close to the hospital.

Discovered something new out my window. Rhubarb.

Day 767

Only one thing to do when you feel as bad as I do and have an excruciating headache and have blood pressure numbers looking like this. Decide it's time to head to the hospital.

Day 766

Even kitty knows things aren't right with me. She's sticking pretty close these days.

Day 765

I decided to stop with the book giveaways. No interest and I'm just sooo tired and get so winded just picking up a book let alone two or three. I have a feeling something is wrong. Something besides arthritis, besides asthma. I suspect an emergency room visit may be in the near future.

In the meantime I have to lay low. Just hanging out in the recliner, feet up. And looking out the window.