Day 187 of 365

Just be still.

I keep having to remind myself to just be still. Stop trying to keep busy, stop trying to always be thinking or doing something. Just sit still and do nothing. Enjoy the quiet.

Over these past few months at home before summer vacation, I had been getting pretty good at it. I had the entire day to myself. Me, myself, and I (and some days the kitty). Time to think, contemplate, plan, and be alone in my thoughts. Time to appreciate the quiet, time to appreciate all I had.

But now as I've started back to work, I'm getting caught up in trying to keep busy. Work days are a given as the entire day is wrapped up in, well...work. Part of the draw of this work being part time was it was going to allow me those quiet, peaceful days during the week where I could be alone. I could take my time getting out of bed. I wasn't going to force my body to move earlier than it wanted to (because that always winds up costing me in the end).

Here I am a month into work and I have yet to have one day by myself. Those days I do have off I'm at a doctor's appointment or some other medical-related appointment, or my daughter is here, or my husband is here. Each week I have high hopes for some alone, quiet, just-be-still time.

Yet again this week it won't happen. Today hubby was also home, I work three other days, and the fifth day will be spent at the most interesting of all doctor's offices, the pain clinic.

Good things come about when I'm still and quiet. I just might have to force myself to be still and quiet. I did force myself just a bit today - I sat outside. After taking down clothes from the line, I just sat there. Enjoyed the weather, didn't think about anything.

The stillness did give me a chance to find a picture for the day. An big ugly old spider captured himself a moth and was doing whatever it is spiders do with moths.

Day 186 of 365

It appears I'm not the only one in my family with Christmas on my mind. Just a couple days ago when my mom and daughter were here there was a discussion of Christmas gifts for my daughter. Then I wrote about Christmas crafts here yesterday, and just today my husband told me about something he wanted on his Christmas Eve list.

We have a Christmas Eve tradition of opening one present early, with the rest being opened on Christmas Day. Our tradition started because of a Batman Helicopter. 

Growing up, my husband's family let kids open one gift on Christmas Eve. The kids got to choose one wrapped present from under the tree to be the special Christmas Eve one. One year, the particular present my husband picked wound up being a Batman Helicopter. A plain, plastic, toy helicopter. A present he didn't ask for, a present he didn't even want. A present that forever tainted that eight year old's Christmas Eve experience.

After we were married, he made it clear there would be no early gifts. But that changed.

With both of us being educators, books are important in our lives. We have hundreds (probably thousands) of books of mine, his, ours, and our daughter's. And we have a tradition of giving books on Christmas Eve.

Every Christmas Eve, we open an early present. And every Christmas Eve, it is always a book we want. We look months ahead at books of interest. Books we can put on our Christmas Eve book list. And every Christmas Eve when we open that book, we spend part of the evening reading before going to bed. It's an important tradition to us.

So today as my husband was reading the Sunday paper, he saw an article about a new book coming up. A book about John F. Kennedy. Being a history teacher, he's big into JFK. Particularly JFK and conspiracy theories. He has videos, and we have more than one shelf here at home full of JFK books, and it looks like come Christmas Eve he'll be adding one more.

He's big into JFK, history, and patriotism. While I was working on getting ready for my tutorial, he came in all excited about having cut what he called a "Labor Day Special" bouquet. Unfortunately, he had to explain it to me - red, white, and blue (okay, purple) roses.

And the name of the white rose in there? It's the rose called JFK.

Day 185 of 365

I like September.

I like September because that means it's almost October.

October means fall and trees turning orange and yellow and cooler days. October means it's time to rake up the leaves, shut up the rose garden, and close things down outside. It means no more guilt about the lack of time spent weeding, or the scarcity of bouquets brought in, or having to worry about keeping things trim and tidy.

And almost October means almost November. November equals Christmas. The only holiday for me.

I love doing crafts, but I particularly love Christmas crafts. Homemade ornaments, stockings, tree skirts, wall hangings. Years ago I got the idea I was going to sell crafts at Christmas shows. I didn't. I sold some things at school, but never found the time to make up enough things to do a show. Then I had the idea I would just sell Christmas things year round. I didn't.

But being it is September, which means it's almost October, which means it's almost November (which means Christmas crafts to me), I'm kind of excited.

Excited that I feel well enough - and have the time - to make fun stuff.

I was going to do another sugar cookie tutorial today for Tuesday's video, but I'm getting a bit tired of cookies right now. I'll do the tutorial tomorrow instead and more than likely it won't be cookies.

By the look of the tons of fabric squares I received in the mail today (plus the yards and yards of batting that didn't make it into the picture), it might need to be sewing related.

Day 184 of 365

A new day and a new job.

A new job? Not exactly a new job, but today I was offered an additional job at my same school. A couple extra hours a week added to my current part-time position equates to a few more dollars going towards paying my health insurance.  Doing sort of the same thing I'm doing already, but just for a different program.  Two job descriptions attached to my name now and some new responsibilities.

The best part of this particular add-on job is I that I can do it from home. No need to go into school any extra days, no need to get out of my sweats or into dress shoes. T-shirt, sweats or shorts, and tennis shoes - now those are the kind of clothes I can live in.

Just hanging out in comfy clothes, doing my job (or at least a couple hours of it).

Comfy clothes or not, I'm so thankful I can be a productive person and have something to offer. Not too long ago I didn't believe I'd ever get back to work, that my days of contributing were over. I can't believe my brain is still working.

Something else that doesn't seem believable? One of our few still-green pumpkins in the garden. The vine found its way to the pea fence and I think it decided it's a good place to hang out until fall.

While my mind, body, and spirit was broken not too long ago, I wonder what will break first here- the pumpkin, the vine, or the pea fence?