Day 99 of 365

I don't think my mind is playing tricks on me this time.

Back on Day 83 I had left the doctor's office in a funk. I had gained weight despite exercising for 37 days in a row. I had started to clean up my diet, was starting to eat salads, and was extremely disappointed that the scale showed I had gained weight when I was expecting it to show I'd lost weight.

Yesterday when I had my test at the hospital, I didn't get weighed so I didn't worry about weight gain or loss.

But today when I got home from spending the night at my daughter's and was getting ready to go to a meeting at school, I put on a new pair of pants. Actually, a pair of pants I bought several months ago. A pair I've never worn because I couldn't fit into them. But today I put on those pair of pants. And they fit just fine.

So despite what that darn scale said at the doctor's office two weeks ago, my body is changing shape. In a good way. And that makes it easier to keep doing what I'm doing - like exercising for the 53rd day in a row.

The other nice thing about today when I got home from spending the night at my daughter's? My husband was crafting a big bouquet of huge peonies from our garden.

Not bad for a guy's flower arrangement.

Day 98 of 365

Today is a day I'd just rather forget. Mostly I'd like to forget the time between 12 and 1 o'clock.

Up so I could dress and exercise before 7.

So I could leave by 8.

So I could be at my daughter's by 9.

So I could be at the hospital by 10.

So I could have a procedure that was scheduled to start before 11.

So I could wait more until it finally started before 12.

So I could come out from under the sedation in the middle of the procedure and be awake while a tube and camera were down my throat looking into my stomach.

So I could gag and choke as the procedure continued on while more sedation didn't kick in.

So I could find out that I have a hiatal hernia, had my esophagus biopsied, and that I may need surgery, all before 1.

So I could be back at my daughter's by 2.

So I could sleep until 5.

So I could eat by 6.

So I could go home.

But not today. I was given strict instructions not to drive until tomorrow. I'm camped out at my daughter's, sleeping in her bed and taking it easy. And hoping to get back home tomorrow.

Thank goodness I had time to snap a picture of my wildflower-turned-perennial garden before I left the house. My pink oriental poppies are getting ready to show off.

Better them than my upper digestive system.

Day 97 of 365

The weather aided me in opening the sewing room again. It rained all morning and made me feel not as guilty about getting into the sewing more than the gardening.

Looking back over these last 97 days I've done a lot of sewing!

• Day 1 pincushions 
• Day 3 flag quilt top
• Day 8 memory games
• Day 11 baby quilt
• Day 14 camera bag  
• Day 17 and 27 pillowcases
• Day 20 t-shirt grocery bags 
• Day 29 clothespin bag
• Day 34 potholders
• Day 35 makeup bag 
• Day 38 bread basket liner 
• Day 39 baby quilt top
• Day 41 Dick and Jane magnets
• Day 44 baby quilt tops
• Day 46 baby quilt tops
• Day 75 finished baby quilt 
• Day 76 finished baby quilt 
• Day 77 finished baby quilt 
• Day 78 finished baby quilt
• Day 79 finished baby quilt
• Day 86 quilt top

I'm glad I game myself permission yesterday to get back into it. And boy, did I get into it. I usually always use another person's pattern (even though I sometimes alter it a bit) when I make something. I saw a quilt pattern I wanted to try but didn't want to shell out the money, so I tried to duplicate it myself. I'm still working away on it and hope to have the top finished by the end of the week. I think (I hope) it'll be one of my pictures soon.

But for today's picture - after the rain stopped and the sun started shining I went to take a look (not work) in the garden. And my roses have started blooming! The first official rose that has bloomed is one of my favorites - Rio Samba. A yellow rose with orange highlights and a nice spicy fragrance (and if I wasn't sick I'd be able to smell it).

Day 96 of 365

I don't know why I think I can do it all. I should be able to garden, sew, and bake all in the same week.

But the amount of time I'm taking to get myself going in the morning has to change. On any given day I might get up, go to the lift chair, have breakfast, go back to bed for a few minutes, back to the chair, then to a shower, then get dressed, then back to the chair or bed, then to the computer, then get my shoes on. It can take three or more hours for me to finally be showered, dressed, and fed. Then another hour or so before the body is warmed up enough where I can start moving to work in the garden.

I've tried to move the process up, but depending on the day - and the severity of the pain in the back and the joints - it's tough to do. Those days where I do speed it up, I wind up paying for it because I'm hurting even more. So realistically if I wake up at 7, it can be noon before I can start to do anything worthwhile.

It's not any different than a few months ago. But then I could work quietly in the house, organizing something, maybe do some less taxing work like sewing, and get by. With the garden season in full swing there isn't much less taxing work available.

So yet again I'm frustrated. Frustrated with my body, with my limitations. There is a lot I can do and a lot I am thankful for, but gardening is not becoming one of them.

I think the best remedy is to open my sewing room again. Back on Day 80 I had decided to close it for summer. But I now need it. I need to have somewhere to go and something to do on these rough mornings. Something that will get my mind off my pain and troubles. Get myself focusing on someone and something else.

I thought gardening, one of the things I love so dearly, was going to help me get moving in the right direction. I was wrong.

Back to what I know makes me feel better about myself and something I know my joints can tolerate. Sewing for others.

And perfect timing on that decision. Outside my sewing room window I spied a pair of quail in the garden.

Day 95 of 365

Today was an I'm just plumb worn out day.

After going to Boise on Monday, birthday shopping with my daughter on Tuesday, going to school on Wednesday and Thursday, celebrating her birthday on Friday, and back to Boise on Saturday I'm just worn out.

With still fighting the flu, still fighting the icky-ness I'm feeling from the injections, having hubby home all the time, and having this busy week it just did me in. I can't remember the last time I had a week like this. I like my quiet days (that was before my husband was out for summer). It was me, the cat, and the sewing machine.

But now I have the husband, the cat, the gardens, the daughter this week, school this week, and the car I'm having to drive everywhere.

When I originally started this blog, I was hoping it would help me get back to the land of the living instead of the land of the existing. Right now I'm kinda longing for the land of the existing. I've just done too much living this week for this body to handle!

I was so tired last night I fell asleep early and didn't wake up until 6:30 this morning. I was super thirsty so I went to the kitchen to get a drink of water. And found my picture of the day. First thing. Before I even had a chance to get that drink of water.

I took a picture of the sun coming up through the clouds (it was prettier in person). Then I took my drink and went right back to bed.