Day 319 of 365

It was a somber morning around here. Any time you get a phone call at 8 in the morning on a Sunday, you know it can't be good. And it wasn't. The teachers at my husband's school have been calling each other this morning, making sure everyone knew the news.

On Day 27 on this blog I wrote: But as a high school teacher, the number of students my husband has lost is in the double digits. Most of the deaths occurred while the students were in high school or just graduated from high school. And usually from car accidents.

I never imagined when I wrote that way back in March that less than a year later it would happen again. One of my husband's students - one that graduated last year and is a freshman in college - was killed in a car accident last night. She was 18. If you want to learn more about Taylor as a high school student, here's a story the Boise TV station did on her last year when she won their Distinguished Student Award.

As a parent, my heart breaks for what the family is going through.

So other than phone calls, things stayed quiet around here today. I spent my time in the sewing room trying to finish up the Disaster Auction quilt. It'll probably be ready tomorrow, but today I did get my coupon holder done.

Day 318 of 365

My daughter uses words to describe herself like, I was a good girl and I worked hard today.

Both are true about her. She is a good girl. She likes to take care of people. She works very hard at her job. She calls her mom every single day (sometimes several times a day).

Both yesterday and today were several phone call days.  Even though she calls bunches, I still look forward to her calls. She calls me every day on her walk to work, calls me during her dinner break, and sometimes calls me after work. I hear about work, how things are coming along in her new apartment, what she's having for dinner, what she's frustrated with her boyfriend about.

Every time, at every call, I tell her the same thing before I get off the phone. I love you. Be a good girl. Stay out of trouble. Work hard. Wear your seat belt. I'm at the point where I feel like if I don't say those things, I'll jinx something.

Lately before she gets off the phone, she's been giving me a list of things she wants me to bring her way. Every day there is something else she wants added to the list. The list is growing quite long. The kitchen stuff she got for Christmas. A clock. Her full length mirror. Garbage can. A family picture. Dish soap. Cleaning supplies. Grocery sack holder.

While I haven't gathered all the other items up yet, I did get her grocery sack holder made. She chose the fabric from several options I sent her on the cell phone. Plain for my tastes, but just what the good, hardworking, seat belt wearing girl ordered.

Day 317 of 365

Compartmentalize.  

Merriam-Webster defines compartmentalize as to separate into isolated compartments or categories. Example: He compartmentalizes his life by keeping his job and his personal life separate.

Yeah, sure.

When I took this job, I thought I could compartmentalize things. When I was at work I'd think about work. When I was home I'd think about home. It hasn't happened yet.

When I'm at work, I think about work. But when I'm at home, I think about work. It's not like I'm not trying to keep my mind off of work - it's that it just isn't happening. A work-issued Blackberry doesn't help things, either. Seeing that phone with unread e-mails - e-mails addressed to me, e-mails that expect answers - makes me want to read them so I can get caught up. If I don't spend my days off reading and responding (and taking the time to find the information requested in the e-mails), when I get back to work I do nothing but catch up on e-mails. And I don't have that time in my work days for that - I have work to do.

Here's the lesson I'm learning about working part-time. ( I suspect part-time hourly wage folks don't have this issue, but I don't know for sure.) Here's what I do know - when someone is a salaried, yet part-time employee, it becomes difficult to determine what kinds of extras that salaried person is required to do on their days off. As a full-time salaried employee, it's a given that after-work hours can/should be spent on work-related activities. As a part-time salaried employee, it's also a given that after-work hours can/should be spent on work-related activities. But how many hours are enough? And how many are too much?

How many hours are too much? It's too much when I'm spending 2-3 hours on every single day I have off working on "work" things. I went into today thinking I wouldn't again get bogged down in work on a day off, but for the umpteenth time it did. Work came first, home came last. The time I had planned to work on the Disaster Auction quilt didn't happen. Sewing a grocery sack holder for my daughter didn't happen. Making a new coupon envelope for myself didn't happen. Work happened. And I've had enough.

I did squeeze out a few minutes to plant my amaryllis from yesterday's Target trip. Looks like it had been doing some growing while on the store's shelf.

Day 316 of 365

Today was a hard day for a picture. I had opportunities I didn't take.

I was at work a little after 7 AM this morning. (Just imagine how rough that one was on my body, especially with it being such a cold morning.) My first picture opportunity happened right before I got to school - proof that it really was a cold morning. The temperature showing on a business not too far from school showed 7 degrees. I had my camera out but there was a school bus behind me so I didn't snap the photo.

Then this afternoon I went to a store I haven't visited in more than a year, ShopKo. I'm glad I picked today to stop by. They had just marked their Christmas clearance down to 90% off. Aisle after aisle of ornaments, wrapping paper, and Christmas goodies. I was tempted to take a picture of all the things they had left, but shoppers were in every single aisle. I was also tempted to take a picture of all the things I bought at 90% off, but my bags were heavy on the chocolates (and I certainly didn't want a picture showing that).

I tried my luck at Target, but there were no Christmas items to be found anywhere. I did find an Amaryllis in a nice, heavy ceramic pot on clearance for $3. I considered taking a picture of it but decided to wait until it's planted. I like the idea of taking pictures as it grows.

I thought about taking pictures of the Chinese food I picked up for dinner, but decided against it. (Again, I didn't want a picture showing how unhealthy I'm eating right now.) I thought about taking a picture of the fortune: When it gets dark enough, you can see the stars. That didn't speak to me, so no picture. I wonder if it means the same thing as what my horoscope read today: Just because there's a wall in front of you doesn't mean that your journey has ended.

I eventually settled on a picture of something that is extremely rare this time of year. As I was sitting in the car, waiting for my husband to get out of a meeting afterschool, I was looking towards the mountains that are usually covered with snow. But thanks to all the storms going around us this winter, the air is hazy and the mountains are bare.

Day 315 of 365

My husband is a big help in the mornings.

He knows how much I struggle with getting out of bed, getting dressed, and getting myself to work. He knows it takes me hours before I can even get my socks on. He knows I hurt so much and my body is so stiff that I can't get a bowl out of the cabinet, can't grab a spoon out of the drawer, and can't reach for the cereal box on the shelf. Standing at the stove cooking any kind of breakfast in the morning is never possible. So he helps me out.

He knows that I'm not able to get out of bed to get a drink of water so he fills a water glass for me every night and puts it on the dresser on my side of the bed. In the mornings he wakes me up when he leaves at 6:30. (By waking up at that time it gives me a better chance of being able to be to work at 9:00. Even though I'm awake, I can't do anything but sit and stretch for quite some time. No dressing, no showering, no putting makeup on - those things happen gradually over a couple hours.)

And every morning when I finally get to the dining room, he has two pieces of cooked bacon waiting for me. A cereal bowl, a spoon, and the box of cereal are sitting on the table. On the counter- a loaf of bread, peanut butter, a paper towel and a knife so I can make my peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch.

Since he's doing that much for me, the least I can do is make a quilt that will make him look good at the Disaster Auction next month. It still has a ways to go, but it's closer than it was on Monday.