Day 509

With 10 surgeries under my belt I'm a pretty good patient. I know what to expect, I know what to do, I know how it feels. As a patient's spouse I'm finding I'm not as competent.

I show up in the morning, stay into the evening, and head home. I bring bottled water to drink and some days I leave the hospital for lunch and some days I bring my juice and a granola bar. One day I brought the laptop, another day I sorted through the mail, and another day read newspapers and magazines. School-related phone calls and e-mails are inudating me, but at this point I'm trying to ignore them as best I can. I mostly do Sudoku, play Words with Friends with my daughter (when she's not working) and wait for hubby to grumble something at me when he wakes up. Today I got smart and brought my slippers to change into.

But is that what I'm supposed to do? He doesn't have visitors to entertain, he doesn't have a roommate. It is just the two of us. Him sleeping and me trying to keep myself busy.

I feel guilty when I'm not there. But when I am there I feel like I don't know what I'm supposed to do (other than sit with him). Thank goodness for my pictures - I know what to do there.

Today it's the broccoli trees. When our daughter was little and we drove Farmway Road I always made comments about the broccoli trees. Having never eaten or purchased or even paid attention to broccoli before, I thought these trees resembled broccoli. Now that we've grown broccoli, I buy broccoli, and I even occasionally eat broccoli (gasp) I still think the trees look like broccoli.

Day 508

My living room is overflowing with stuff. Yard sale stuff.

Before our trip we went through closets, drawers, bookshelves, cabinets, the storage shed in the backyard and my sewing room, looking for things to get rid of. Downsize. We found bunches of things and stored them downstairs in the basement in preparation for the yard sale. Then while we were gone, we had our daughter move everything up to the living room so it would be an easy move to the carport for the yard sale.

That yard sale was scheduled for the Friday and Saturday before I started back to work. Being my first day back is August 1, coming week is the yard sale was the yard sale.

With hubby not improving and no word from the doctor about when he might be discharged - or when he might be better - I have a living room full of stuff going nowhere. Time for an alternate plan. The organization I usually donate things to no longer does pickups out here in Marsing so I'm on the search for another group. A group that can pick up this week. Coming back to an empty house (but full living room) is driving me nuts.

Also driving me nuts is pulling into the driveway every night seeing the overflowing wildflower-turned-perennial garden. Time to start whacking away at it (as soon as I can find the time).

Day 507

We heard the word diurese quite a bit today. As far as I can tell that's the medical term for getting rid of excess fluid by going to the bathroom. As in, they are forcing him to diurese. His IV has been cut off, he's on a cardiac/low sodium diet, his Sprite supply has been reduced, and they are adding and even again doubling some medications all in the hopes the fluid will be purged from his system.

But at this point, the kidneys still have not kicked in. He isn't eating much, he's sleeping most of the time, and he's too weak to get out of bed on his own. They've given up on even helping him to the bathroom. Thankfully he's not in pain, but he certainly isn't well.

With so many unknowns, it's nice I have some knowns right now - my flowers. Coneflowers. I couldn't decide on which picture I liked best so you get them both.

Day 506

He's been through tests, tests, and more tests, and he has a diagnosis.

Renal failure.

His kidneys are operating at 20% of normal and the doctors don't know why. A kidney biopsy is scheduled for Monday, and a specialist visited with us today and gave us worst case scenario (at least I hope it was worst-case). In the meantime he remains in the hospital as they try and get the 20 pounds (yikes) of fluid he put on in the last two weeks since we've been gone.

I'm not home much now, but I did take a picture of my flowers that look like thistles. I saw some in a planter box in Ketchikan just last week but theirs hadn't turned colors yet. Mine have.

Day 505: Home

I thought the worst part of returning home was going to be needing to get the windshield replaced after a big, huge, long crack developed on my way to Vancouver.

Then I thought the worst part was having to deal with the non-working air conditioner at home.

After leaving Vancouver yesterday, I then thought having to drive home with this brand new rock chip smack dab in my line of sight was going to be the worst part. (It was pretty bad, making me cross-eyed all these last two days.)

But none of those was the worst. What was?

On our way back to town we stopped at the doctor's office to get hubby checked out. The doctor sent hubby straight from his office to the hospital for an overnight stay. He has already been through several tests and has another one coming up before midnight.

Let's hope by tomorrow this time we have some answers.